Sincerely write this article, write something for myself.

Starting from 2021, I have constantly heard this phrase from female friends. In theory, being praised for having stable emotions should be a good thing, but whenever others summarize my stable emotions, I feel a bit uncomfortable.

Now I seriously think about what's going on.

First of all, it is definitely due to my consistent rebellious mentality. Especially when everyone speaks in unison about something, my alertness immediately kicks in.

Why is that?

There are two reasons. Based on past experiences, things that everyone agrees on tend to be mediocre, so I often resist following trends.

Is it wrong to follow trends? Is it because I haven't caught up with the trend or is it an excuse for my lack of ability to follow trends?

To some extent, yes. I think the feeling of envy is deeply rooted in human nature. Seeing others passionately discussing topics that I could also talk about, and receiving praise and admiration from many people, perhaps this scenario triggers my envy first.

But this feeling of discomfort is not just envy, right? The more popular a topic becomes, the more I try to distance myself from it, and sometimes I even want to make jokes to dispel it.

For example, when people praise me with words like "stable emotions" or "emotional value," I should be envied by others, so why am I still uncomfortable?

A long time ago, I heard some comments about me, which roughly went like this: "He is a compliant donkey, he only responds to kindness. Give him more carrots and feed him more bewitching soup."

At that time, I thought I never got angry, hardly ever got upset, and could easily accept harsh words. So why was I called a compliant donkey? Now I roughly understand what a compliant donkey means.

"Stable emotions" is something imposed on me by others, not a value I recognize. Instead, it is something I sometimes need to reflect on.

How are my emotions being dealt with?

When faced with common feelings like sadness, depression, guilt, or regret, I usually immediately detach myself from them and do things I enjoy. Then, when I have regained my energy, I deal with them.

Secondly, I usually don't like to show my vulnerability in front of others. I spend a long time alone, sorting out everything, and then appear in front of others.

Is this a good approach?

The good thing is that I never complain and don't become the kind of person I dislike. The downside is that I am unwilling to seek help from others and miss out on their assistance.

On the other hand, some emotions can help us achieve success in other areas. For example, anger can help dispel low moods, and anxiety and regret can prompt us to take quick action and not be lazy.

If I were to handle these emotions differently, my life might be completely different. But I usually gently push them away, have a cup of tea, face them calmly, and then gently send them away.

Those burdens weighing on my heart, those unanswered questions, and the fear before facing something. I quickly dismiss them one by one. I am already very skilled at knowing that three minutes of darkness in front of me is not the end of the world. But is this the right approach?

Have I missed out on some life experiences? Have I lost a few close friends? Is this self-awareness or arrogance?

Of course, the advantage is that I appear emotionally stable, never complain, and always remain cheerful and positive.

The last time I thought about this issue was in 2019 when I was worried about the impact on my creativity. But at that time, I tended to overreact to many things. Although my emotions were stable, sarcastic or ironic words would often come to mind, which was also one of the sources of my creativity.

At that time, I also thought that if all emotions were released at once, then that person would be hollow and unable to withstand anything.

Returning to the topic, does stable emotions really have such great value? Are my emotions truly stable?

Every day, there are moments when my inner sea churns. How can there be stability? A person with a deadened heart is a person with a psychological disorder.

How did I develop this pattern? Perhaps my father had an influence on me.

I remember a small incident.

One year, when I graduated from junior high school and went to high school, my father accompanied me. There was a long-distance bus ride in the middle, and I felt nauseous. I felt uncomfortable the whole time, and he went out of his way to get off the bus halfway to buy motion sickness medicine and water for me. In the end, I still felt unwell on the bus, so he sent a message to the teacher and took a day off. We got off the bus and rested in a small town. I vomited for a long time after getting off in that small town. In the afternoon, we sat on two outdoor chairs, watching the cars coming and going. By then, I was feeling much better, and my father told me that he also felt motion sickness on the bus before, but he took care of me during the trip, and he got better.

I have always had a deep impression of this incident, and now I realize there have been many similar instances. For example, when traveling with my father, he takes care of every detail. When I was a child, I might feel bored because the adults were having fun, but my dad always took care of me, giving me a small toy or actively introducing me to others and involving me in adult conversations. He even took care of my face when I was only seven or eight years old.

These things may have subtly influenced me later on. After adolescence, when I gradually learned to care for others and empathize with them, those actions of my father began to appear in me involuntarily. I learned to notice people who didn't speak much at a dinner party, to give a small toy to comfort a child, to use self-deprecating humor to defuse awkwardness, to put my own emotions aside and see the needs of those around me.

Can these practices be called stable emotions? It's not accurate to say so, right? These are just things I occasionally and luckily learned from my family. Are they worthy of praise? Not necessarily.

Speaking from a quality that deserves praise, I admire bravery. From a personal aesthetic perspective, I admire the classical tranquility and elegance of girls and the refined and gentle nature of boys. A person with stable emotions may be a boring and mediocre person, or perhaps a weak and narrow-minded person.

So when I hear others praise me with this term, I feel uncomfortable.

After writing about myself, I also wonder why stable emotions are widely discussed or needed at present.

Is it because this group of people has experienced more setbacks?